Somewhere between taking apart the vacuum to clean it, plucking some grey hairs, breaking up fights, and scrubbing poop out of the carpet, I realized that motherhood isn’t very glamorous. I mean, not that I didn’t already know that, but sometimes it just hits you how true it is. If we one day decided to quit, but we were nice enough to hire our replacement, can you imagine the list of requirements? Imagine the ad. . .
Must be able to keep 4 boys happy, keep them entertained, and keep them from killing each other.
Must feed them 49 times a day. Nutritious things.
Must be able to clean poop out of the carpet with one hand while trying to keep baby from crawling through it with other hand.
Must be able to do homework with at least 2 children simultaneously and not confuse the two.
Must be able to make children’s eyes roll in utter disgust and embarrassment.
Must be okay with the sight of blood.
Must be able to yell loud enough to get the attention of 4 rambunctious boys but not loud enough for the neighbors to hear.
Must have eyes in the back of head OR be able to convince them that you do.
Must fix clogged toilets
Must use your own shirt to wipe snot
Must be okay drinking floaties in your water
Must have a magic bag filled with everything you could possible need at any given moment in any given situation
Must be willing to make a fool of yourself in the grocery store dancing and singing to keep a fussy baby happy
Must be willing to march outside and “give a talkin’ to” any one who dares to be mean to one of the children
Must be able to look good in a sweat suit or old tee shirt ( I mean really rock it!)
Must be able to whip up dinner in 10 minutes or less after realizing you just spent waaay to long at the computer
Must come up with words of wisdom, on the spot
Must need to deal with the fact that inevitably someone will fart at the dinner table followed by laughter and milk out the nose
Must know how to use magic eraser
Must have the patience of Job
Must remember to check pants pockets before washing so you don’t kill the “pet” worms stashed there
Must be really good at giving “the look”
Okay, at some point I have to stop. But I could easily go on. The point is, it is a tough, endless, job. BUT the rewards are AWESOME :) I could make a big giant list of those too but I want to just post this and go to bed. Truth is, I would never want to quit. Even on the worst days, there is always that moment when something is said or realized, and it makes it all worth it. I really do love being a mom :) I kinda like knowing no one could replace me!
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