I first noticed it at the age of 34. I started to see the effects of not taking care of myself. Up until that point I had eaten whatever I wanted and maintained my weight. I slept very little and you would never know by looking at me. I still felt like I had my crap together. Ahhh, those were the days! My mid thirties (okay … late thirties) have been a major wake up call. I can no longer eat whatever I want without consequences. If I miss sleep I am cranky and my eyes are puffy. Even with those clues, I didn’t really do much to change.
Recently, I started having what I thought were panic attacks. As an introvert with social anxiety, panic attacks and I are not strangers. My heart would race and often breathing was difficult. I would get dizzy when I stood too long and I felt weak most of the time. These “panic attacks” were longer than they should be and eventually started to last all day. I knew it had to be something else. To make a long story short, I discovered I was severely anemic. Which now, looking back, makes sense. Ever since the kids have gone back to school and my youngest is there all day, I don’t have a little person begging for food all day. This in turn reminded me to eat. I know that sounds so dumb, having to be reminded to eat. My personality is that when I get going on something, I am fully immersed in it and can lose sense of time. I will get going on emails and other computer work and all of a sudden my kids are home from school. Or I will be working on a project and suddenly hear the door open and the kids greeting me. It happened pretty much every day. I was skipping breakfast and lunch on a regular basis. I also had stopped taking my daily vitamins. I was not getting the nutrition I needed. If only KitKats had a huge dose of iron…
I have tried setting timers on my phone to help remind me to stop what I am doing and take the time to eat something healthy. My meal planning has changed a little bit to include more iron rich foods and I have started taking a supplement. I honestly had no idea that being anemic could affect a person like this. I thought it just made you feel dizzy. After talking to another friend who had a very similar experience as I did, I decided to write about it in case someone else out there is suffering, too. It can be scary if you don’t know what it is.
I am not sure why we as women forget to take care of ourselves. I get so caught up in trying to help the family out financially through blogging, doing homework, cleaning, fulfilling church callings, yard work, and helping at the school that I just forget about ME. I have gained a ton of weight over the past couple of years too. I can see the effect of not getting enough sleep in my face. I feel like I have aged 10 years in only 2.
So here is my plan so far:
Go to Bed Earlier
This is actually really hard for me for several reasons. First, my personality is driven by progress. I always want to get just one more thing done before going to sleep. I also like to read and have a hard time putting a book down before it is done. Also, Shane works long hours and commutes over an hour each way so after the kids go to bed is our only time to spend together. It is hard to cut that short even if it is just us watching TV together.
Don’t Skip Any Meals
The only thing I can think of would be to put a reminder on my phone. I am hoping that if I do it long enough, it will become a habit. Fingers crossed!
Move More
I have been doing an hour on the treadmill daily for the last couple of months and mid day I take our dog out to play. Spring and Summer I am pretty active because we hike as a family. We also do lots of yard work and outdoor projects. In the Fall, things tend to slow down and by wintertime I morph into a sloth. I hope I can keep the treadmill up!
No More Candy at Night
Being totally honest here, this is going to be the hardest for me to crack. I have done it in the past, but never maintained it for longer than a few months. Some days the only way I make it is knowing I can snuggle on the couch and consume large quantities of chocolate. To give up my “reward” is going to be HARD. I read once that some celebrity (I think Mandy Moore) ate frozen grapes at night instead of treats. You guys, frozen grapes are gross. Maybe I should stop looking for an alternative and just suck it up and not eat anything. If I have a treat, it will have to be in the afternoon (right before the kids come home from school) so I don’t have to share ;)
So what do you think? What do you guys do to keep on top of yourself? How do you not “let yourself go”? I honestly could use all the suggestions I can get!
I am looking forward to feeling better and hopefully even looking better.
I completely understand. I have always taken care of my family and everyone else before myself. I was anemic for years and thought it was just because I wasn’t eating but it turned out to be more of my menstrual cycle that was causing it. Got that fixed and haven’t had that problem since. I also forget to eat until I am at the point of starvation so I try to keep things around like nuts to snack on instead of candy.
Getting to bed earlier has certainly helped and the fact that my grandson tells me at 7:30 “maw maw night night” so I go and snuggle with him and before I know it the night is over and tomorrow begins.
Keep up the good work, it sounds like your plan will work wonders and I would love to hear how it goes for you.
Trina @
Walking My Own Path
Please seriously try this trick. I do it and it helps. When craving some food/snack take a shot of apple cider vinegar with a water chaser. Spend a few minutes focusing on your stomach, and (for me) it seriously helps kick a craving.
or Try a glass of wine at night. When I did that I was able to cut all my anxiety medicines completely. It is sweet and much more natural than medication.
I have no problem putting myself first! EVER!! LOL
I wouldn’t have guessed you were an introvert! You are good at hiding it :D I am too though!
I totally know the effects of not taking care of myself. For me I ignored a hormonal problem, worked too much, and drank coffee like a fiend. I’ve ended up blowing out my adrenals. So now I’m on a hormone cream, drinking less coffee, and trying to get more sleep (and working less). It’s helping. But it’s hard! I’ll be thinking about you during my daily struggle :D
I can totally relate to what your wrote! I’m driven the same way, people are always telling me to take care of myself and not to work so hard. I just turned 51 and have finally realized that I can work the way I like to, (PS I feel alive when I’m working) but I can take care of myself. I can encourage you to really work at the getting to bed part because everything else will follow. I’ve learned how to stop work at a certain time every day, and stick to it. Seriously, make yourself. I can stop at 1PM sometimes and remember I never ate breakfast. You have make sure you eat and drink plenty of water. I do keep a lot of bars on hand so that I have good protein and carbs that I can just shove down and not avoid eating because I think it’ll take too long. How crazy does that sound? Make some rules for yourself to follow and set some alarms. You’re on the right track. Be good to you. <3
It’s so easy to say I’ll exercise tomorrow but that was the first thing I incorporated and it changed everything. I walk with Leslie Sansone exercise videos. So much fun and what I noticed once you make a commitment to exercise you begin to naturally make better food choices. Which led me to a very real food diet by removing processed food. Going to bed early has never been a problem because we got rid of cable to temp me from staying up to watch a show. So with just a few changes to my lifestyle at 48 I feel pretty fantastic.
We love you Carole….love your idea about getting rid of cable….save $$$$ and a lot of wasted time watching junk shows. Just read that those of us who feel tired early afternoon SHOULD take a little nap. Emphasis on “little”. ha ha
I feel like you could really benefit from taking a class of sce kind. Like excercise. Yoga, spin, or something to make you go out and be social and have fun.
I’m not going to give you any advise because you already know what to do. I just want to say that I get it. As moms we put everyone before ourselves. It’s time for you to take center stage. When is was 43 I was extremely anemic. Turns out I have celiac which means no gluten. As soon as I started eating right I felt so much better. You can do this. You are awesome.
OH my gosh… I have been experiencing the exact same symptoms. I have been dealing with panic attacks since my mid-teens. I am in my sixties now. These systems I have been having felt different from my panic attacks. Like you said the dizziness and weakness, sometimes lasting all day was a change from the usually the short lived panic attack. Thank you so much for posting your experience. I have a doctors appointment scheduled at the of the month with labs . I will make sure they test for anemia.
So glad I subscribe to your post!,
Kathy
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who needs reminders to eat. I hear you about being the creator’s zone. We did a contest recently with whoever was interested at church. We got points for drinking enough water, consuming enough veggies and fruits each day as well as adequate protein, exercising, scripture study, encouraging a friend, not eating within an hour of going to bed (unless you’re nursing), etc. I thought I was doing better at these things than I was and being a little less than 30 I haven’t fully paid the price for not forming these habits. So once or twice a year I’ll play this 8 week game to test how well I REALLY am doing at taking care of me.
Ballroom dancing is good. It’s not only exercise, it’s lots of fun and you occasionally get to wear those fancy ballroom dance costumes!
I joined Weight Watchers online. Along with hubby and daughter. Got 40 lbs to lose. I was walking with my Fitbit but wrecked my knee. And yes, you have to take ‘me’ time. It’s hard, but health issues make you stop and think. You should eat protein every 3 hours. A cheese stick and apple, banana and peanut butter. But with both hubby and daughter, I have to be accountable! Eeks.
Thanks for sharing your experience Stacey. When trying to stay away from sugary treats late at night, I find having some
of my favorite tea with a little honey (yes it’s sweet – but more natural) helps to satisfy my sweet tooth without the risk of over indulgence. Stay well!
Wish I could say I have my act together, and if you do X, Y and Z things, like me, you’ll be fine. Haha. I think I have all your bad habits, except the part about forgetting to eat. I never seem to forget to eat. How about making yourself a bagged lunch in the morning. Do you make them for your kids? Make yourself one, and put it near where you’re working. Maybe if you don’t have to stop to prepare lunch, you’ll be more inclined grab it and eat it. I also have the feeling that I crave chocolate and sweets when I’m tired. They seem to give me the energy to get more done, especially at night. But if I overdo it in the evening, I swing too far to the other extreme of being too wired to go to sleep at a reasonable time. I’ve also read that consuming whole fat milk products leaves you more satiated, longer, so you avoid those peaks and valleys that make you both tired and hungry. I wouldn’t have guessed anemia would have caused the problems you describe. Thanks for sharing your story. A good reminder to take care of ourselves.
Thank you for this post. It seems we all need reminded to take care of ourselves. I would have never thought a thing about anemia, but maybe we should all check that we are eating healthy with enough nutrients. I personally have been taking vitamins again and am glad for the reminder that it is an important habit to maintain.
Thank you for this article and reminder. I agree with all. I am anemic and I can tell you ifi don t eat and sleep properly my energy level flattens out like a pancake.
I don t think you have to stop snacking at night, I follow a nutritionist/dietitian by the name of Joy Bauer, When you have a moment find her website. She really has some great recipes for calorie friendly snacks….all easy to make. She also states in an article that I read that you do not have to give up snacking at night; her suggestion though is to keep (it) at no more than 200 calories, So, although you may not be able to eat a bag of candy (like I so could) you have a small amount, She said just work the night time snack into your day…it gives you something to look forward to and there’s nothing wrong with that ; it rakes self control I admit. but after time it becomes easier,
I signed up for a healthy living p/lifestyle encouragement called Real Appeal. It is a little like Weight Watchers (I think anyway.) It is all online and an app on my phone. They are teaching me week by week how to eat healthier and overcome cravings and get moving more. Plus it is a network of people who support each other. That helps the most!