The past month has been HARD. So many emotions. So overwhelming. But not necessarily bad.
As most of you know I struggle with S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and I felt the funk settling in at the beginning of November. I mention that only because my S.A.D. is always kind of in the background (except for bad years when it is front and center) and can make other things seem more overwhelming than under normal circumstances.
My oldest son has now left for his mission and is in Virginia. I am so proud that he has chosen to spend the next two years in the service of others. So incredibly proud. But my momma heart is breaking knowing that I won’t see him for so long. And it is breaking knowing I have officially moved into a new stage of parenting.
Change is hard and I don’t want to be in this stage. The stage where my kids start moving out. I want them all under my room playing games and laughing. How did the last 19 years go so fast?
I have decided I am going to give myself a month. One month to mourn the loss of this chapter in my life. Hopefully by then I can be at peace with it. If any of you mom’s have any advice on how to deal with this stage, and letting go so to speak, I’d love to hear it. It is so bitter sweet being sad and proud at the same time. Such an odd mix of emotions.
I do get to talk to him on Monday though and I am so excited! He’s going to give me a tour of his apartment. Man I am thankful for technology! Mondays are his P days (preparation days) where he will have a “day off” to do laundry, shopping, etc. This are the days he can email us an update and occasionally call.
My second oldest son has been building a cabin in my mom’s field. If you follow my instagram stories, then you have seen a few posts about it. The high school is currently doing an alternative days schedule due to Covid so he only goes to in person school a couple of days a week. Since he gets his work done early in the day on his off days, he has been spending a lot of time out there lately and I think that helps get his mind off of missing his brother.
I don’t have a current pic (he is almost done) but here some progress pictures from the past few weeks.
To keep myself busy, I accepted a campaign from TikTok to do 40 videos in a little over a month. I basically have to do a project/video a day. I have found pushing myself to get outside for a walk and doing lots of projects helps me stay out of a deep funk. I need sunshine and accountability :) So if you are on TikTok (its not all lip syncing and dancing) you should follow me and see all my projects and tips before they hit the blog.
I am finishing up decorating for Christmas today and tomorrow. I am not sure why I have dragged my feet this year. But I LOVE my these I chose and so do my boys. I will have that posted on Monday!
I had hoped that we would have the garage fixed up and in a position to be my winter workspace since it is too cold to use the driveway to paint and cut wood. Because we switched gears and put all our effort and money into the garage attic this summer, I don’t have a suitable space to use for projects while it’s cold. So, I am pausing the basement remodel (there has been a small amount of progress this Fall) so I can do large projects inside. The unfinished floors are perfect for painting things on. I swear this basement is never going to get done! But that is okay, because right now I need the work space more than an extra bedroom.
Lots of projects will be hitting the blog soon! I’m excited to stay busy this winter :)
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