The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side….. Or Is It???

Sometimes I am very introspective and get lost in my thoughts. I have been thinking about something and I felt inspired to share. After reading comments on several Facebook pages and other blogs about bloggers and their perfect lives, it started to make me think.

There are times I still find myself being envious of other people, other bloggers especially. I see the vacations they get to take when we as a family have not been on one in years. I see their kids in super cute new clothes all the time when my 3 year old is wearing clothes that my 11 year old wore when he was little (and most of those were hand me down from cousins). I see their clean homes. Not just clean in pictures on their blog (because we all know that was staged for a photo shoot) but also clean in instagram shots. And I look at my messy house and sigh.

And then I thought, what if people think things like that when they read MY blog. I hope not. I try so hard to keep things real over here. I  sometimes feel like there isn’t a single thing y’all don’t know about me. Maybe I over share. But I do it so you know that I have struggles too. I have a budget. I have stress. I have messes. I have faults.

I was watering my grass tonight. And it made me think of that cliché saying “The grass is always greener on the other side.” Yes, it is cliché. But there is a reason that it caught on.

We have strict watering restrictions right now due to the drought conditions. I can only water on certain days and only during certain times. My grass is dying. It is patchy and just plain dead in some areas. I drive around my neighborhood and think “They HAVE to be cheating! How can their grass be so green?” But then I came inside and looked out the window. From that vantage point our grass looked so green. It was weird. Even though I KNEW it had patchy areas all over. And then I realized that my neighbors probably have patchy spots too, IF I WERE TO LOOK CLOSELY. That is the key. The perspective.

Those blogs that I read that seem perfect are written by people just like me. Behind that blog is a person with struggles, messes, stress, and faults. Not all bloggers are comfortable sharing every aspect of their lives. Some of them are super private. And after meeting a lot of bloggers in real life I can testify that this is true, first had. I have seen their lives UPCLOSE. I think if you knew what some of them were going through it would blow your mind. For some of them their blog is a retreat where they can share the good things in their life and the pretty things they create.

I guess the point of all my pondering, and for writing this post, is to say – do not compare. There are always going to be people that look like they have it all. That look like they have their crap together. And guess what? Some may be awfully close to having it all or having their crap together. Just like there are probably people in my town who actually have green grass!There will be people who are more talented, have more money, have closer families, or whatever. But if we dwell on that, then we can’t fully appreciate what we have.  We can’t appreciate the view of our green grass from the window if we are constantly either standing over our dry spots and complaining or looking out the window to our neighbor’s lawn and being envious.

I wrote this post and then the next day something happened that drove home the point even more….. 

My husband lost his job yesterday. His company has been struggling badly and in one last ditch effort to save the company they have let go most of the employees. Any hope we had of taking our kids to Disneyland in the fall are gone now. Whether I can finish the many projects I have started is up in the air. And anything else we were going to do in now in question. It will be hard to get on Facebook and see all the summer vacations posted.  But I am going to try to look at them with my new found perspective. I am going to be happy that they get to do those fun things and know that our time will come one day. And I will hope others will be equally happy for me when my day comes.

I hope you all know how much I appreciate you. I hope you know that every comment and every email is GOLD. I feel such a strong sense of community. Maybe that is why I am so comfortable sharing things with you. I wish we could have a big party and all get to meet each other in real life because I would hug the crap out of all of you.

I love you guys. You are amazing.

 

 

Comments

  1. says

    First, the good news is that your grass isn’t dying- it’s just going dormant. But for the artificial watering we all do, grass would naturally go dormant this time of year. It will bounce back when temperatures and this terrible hot, dry wind, calm down.

    Secondly, I love this post. My scrapbook room was in a magazine in 2006 (well before blogging) and I remember how FAKE I felt afterward. My spouse just laughed at the article and wanted to know who’s house that room was in because he’d never seen it. Never seen it because it had NEVER been that clean and perfectly organized. I felt tremendous guilt when people would comment about how much they loved it and wished they had something like it. And it was all “fake” in a way. I vowed to never be untrue to myself again that way.

    I have never gotten the impression that you’re trying to look perfect. You’re very down-to-earth on your blog and the very same in person, as are most bloggers I’ve met.

  2. pamela says

    Thanks for sharing, I was just looking at a post of a high school friend wondering why we can’t go on vacations. Why others look so busy and happy. And why we are broke! My husband got sick, had to have surgery and his new job doesn’t pay for sick time off, nor health insurance. This is the job he had to get after 32 years on a job where they “loss” our pension of $4000 a month, and now can only pay $900 for a short amount of time. Your right, life is not fair. But as of today , there is food in the house. And all the bills are paid. Don’t know how we have done it, and don’t know how we will manage tomorrow. But for now, we are BLESSED. And when I can afford another can of paint, I’ll make myself happy and paint a wall. Thanks for being honest.

  3. says

    I guess God is wanting your family to spend more time together this summer….again
    (see, how’s that for looking at the green patches on the lawn?)

    Really, I can only imagine how tough it’d be though. I know your family has struggled time and time again over recurrent job loss, and you always handle it with great patience, hope, and faith – just as I’m sure you will this time as well.
    Prayers for your family and husband for speedy re-employment. {{Hugs!}}

  4. Ashley W. says

    I’m sorry your husband lost his job…again! I remember feeling so excited & relieved for you when he got this job. And thanks for the reminder…as I’ve sat all day thinking about how much I hate my hubby’s job. He’s worked over 100 hours in the past week…too bad he’s salaried and not hourly! But, at least he still has a job. I hope your hubby finds work quickly and that somehow you still get your trip to Disneyland.

  5. says

    I love how connected you can feel to people (like you!) whom you’ve never met. Thank you for sharing, your messes and all. You’re right, that’s what makes it real. Everybody’s got crap going on. My heart aches for you, your hubby, and your family. Praying that God provides for you in surprising and overwhelming ways!

  6. says

    Sorry to hear about your husband’s job – hopefully, things look up soon. I think even when other people’s lives look so perfect, there are just things they aren’t sharing. I think everyone has their own troubles. I look up to you because your blog is so great and many people love your blog! Don’t worry – I blog, and my house often looks like a mess!

  7. says

    Those vacations are over-rated anyway…that’s at least what I tell myself. Thanks for your honesty!
    If you want to feel good about yourself, you can follow me on Instagram because you will see chaos in the background there! haha
    You are such a sweet, down to earth soul! Thank you for keeping it all real!

  8. Marty says

    Dear Stacy,
    I love this post. I think one of our challenges in life is to look at other people and compare what they have with what we have and come up on the short end of the stick. I hope you will let me tell you a story about a gal I know. She is a lovely red head with a handsome husband that obviously adores her. She has 4 well behaved boys who are playful and sweet with their siblings. I have observed these boys be kind to each other & I love to hear the tiny boy sing songs. No matter the struggles this family goes through they stay genuine and are kind to their neighbors. I have never noticed dry patches in their grass because I was too busy looking at the love they share with each other. This is not the end, it’s just the middle.
    Love, Marty

  9. says

    Amen, Stacy. The funny part? I always think YOU have it together, and I’m the one with bad hair/crazy kids/a messy house. ;} LOVE your honesty and LOVE You. Praying for your sweet family… God has big plans for your grass. ;}

  10. says

    I was just talking to a friend about this kind of thing today. We were at 7 Peaks and I was feeling my normal frumpy self with all my post 3-babies body in a swimsuit and looking at women around me who are in bikinis holding their 5 month olds. It reminded me of my friend who is amazingly beautiful and SO thin and toned and I mentioned her to my friend I was with. But then I remembered that my skinny friend just went through a horrible year with her husband leaving her and losing a 20 week pregnancy after that. I would gladly take my muffin top over those things. Everyone has their trials and issues and what may appear to be perfection on the outside comes with its share of hardships. And I think everyone feels that way at times–I always get jealous of everyone’s summer vacations and sometimes Instagram is just a bummer. And looking at my life overall, even though I’m dying to finally get into a house of my own–I have SO much to be grateful for and I do love my life. You have amazing talent with your home DIY stuff and have done such cool things with brands, things that most people could never dream to have happen. Thanks for keeping it real. XOXO

  11. says

    I’m more than happy to be a “stay-cation-er” with you this summer. We haven’t been on a “vacation” in years. My now grown sons have never been to Disney…but they spent time with us. We took local day trips to places that we hadn’t seen “right in our own back yard. My sons are wonderful, successful young men who have fond memories of family times shared…no matter WHERE it is. Don’t worry, things will change and your time will come. In the mean time, give your family a hug and know that there are LOTS of us who are in the same (or a similar) situation. You’re not alone. xo, Kimberly

  12. says

    I pray your husband can find another job quickly! Tough times. We have been in those positions when we weren’t able to take family vacation. In fact, I lived in California for 17 years and could never afford to take my family to Disney land. We rarely ever took those kinds of expensive vacations. But we did do day trips, and they can be just as memorable. No, our family never went to Disneyland, but we did explore the San Francisco bay area. Are my children scarred for life because they never went to Disneyland? Nope. And our family didn’t miss out on any bonding time. And when I was a child, my parents could never afford to take me to Disneyland either. Now I’m almost 52 years old, and I still haven’t been. But I have been to other places that most people will never see. I think sometimes we think that we are entitled to have these great vacations because other people have them. I think with modern technology, and the internet, it’s easier to see how other people live, and what other people have, and it makes us covet what we don’t have. I sometimes wish we could go back to the farming days when people were happy just to have enough. Thanks for posting this post, it’s very thought provoking, as you can see by my wordy response. :)

  13. says

    I agree that sometimes it is hard to see the other side. But then sometimes you get a peak that the other side (like on a suzie ormand episode) and really, all the vacationing and new everything is often usually bought on credit, credit, credit and if they might lose their job, they would be completely out of their depth, with having no understanding of how “real life” works on budgets, hand-me-downs and such. So in fact I think those of us who do live more day-to-day and less big fancy stuff appreciate it all that much more when once and a while we do get our really green lawn and really great holiday.

    Just my two cents. Thanks for sharing. I have loved following your blog for the past few months. And dang if your link up parties don’t distract me from real stuff I should be doing instead following links to random blogs…!

  14. Shawna says

    Thank you, Stacy. I just happened to be wallowing in self pity when I read your post. You have a wonderful attitude, and I gained so much respect for you and your family last unemployment go-around. You just keep going. I hope that peace (and employment) will come quickly for you.

  15. Emily C says

    Wow! What an awesome post! I literally have stopped looking at blogs on a regular basis. I set up my Facebook to where I can only see those I really care about on my news feed. I check instagram maybe once a week. And pinterest is only checked once in a blue moon if I am looking for ideas on a project I’m financially able to start. I’ve really had to scale back on all the social media sites because I was finding myself depressed when I would naturally compare my life to everyone else’s. in doing all that I have learned that my life isn’t so bad. It’s not perfect, but I definitely have much to be thankful for and when I get caught up in all around me, I loose that feeling of gratitude and that’s when I noticed life sucks. The end. :)

  16. says

    Thank you for this post! It lifted my spirits today. I’m new to this blogging thing, and I have a tendency to look at all the other bloggers and think the same thing: “perfect”! Then I look at my blog and think it sucks! But what a good attitude and perspective you have! I love your blog!

  17. Angie M says

    Keep above it all, and know your family appreciates what they have and the time you spend together. Out of all my friends, those with the less than perfect lives seem to be happier. I found one friend, who has a ginormous house, new cars, trips, a built in sitter (her mom lives with them and cooks and cleans), and new jewelry, additions to their house etc….all on credit. A large first mortgage, car loans, and over $50,000 on credit cards. When her husband lost his job….well, they had a reality check. Everyone wants everyone else to think life is great, perfect, my kids are angels, my spouse is a rockstar, my dog could be a show dog…..but behind the scenes, it’s a hot mess.

  18. says

    Hey Stacy,

    Just wanted to say thanks for the post – I think you’re right that it can be very depressing to look at other blogs and think (incorrectly, of course) that some people have prefect lives. When the truth is, we’re all hot messes at some level – we just have different ways o handling it/communicating about it. I’m a new reader but have been loving reading both your new posts and some of your archives. And it’s so refreshing to see in many of them messy photos that mirror what my house looks like 80% of the time!

    I’m sorry to hear about your husband, but thanks so much for your honesty. Hang in there – you’re not alone!! SOMEHOW we’ll figure out a way to make it through to the next day, every day. And on the bright side, you now had more time to enjoy time with your beautiful family and friends, because in the end that’s the only thing that matters!

    Thanks for keeping such a great attitude through everything, and inspiring the rest of us to do the same :)
    -K

  19. Sandy says

    Thanks for this post. I needed to be reminded! Sorry to hear of your husband’s job loss. Something tells me with your attitude you guys will be just fine. Blessings.

  20. Mary H says

    I am a stay at home grandmother who watches 4 little grandsons (and one in elementary school) for my teacher kids. Believe me, the grass is not always greener. Some of that green grass is painted to hide the real weeds. Wherever you are in life is just where you should be. This too shall pass. Losing a job is not a great situation, unless something better comes along, and, that may just be what happens. Press on, have faith, enjoy the summer, and hug those little boys tight. God bless your family!

  21. says

    Praying for you, my dear! Been there, done that. My husband went through 7 jobs in 6 years. I understand the frustration of feeling like you are finally getting your feet back on the ground to turn around and have the rug pulled out from under you. You are an amazing woman and you will get your family through this. Looking back at my own childhood, I don’t remember the family trips. I remember that night my sister and I played hide and seek with the neighborhood kids and laughed so hard our sides hurt. I remember my mom dancing in the living room and making it a dance party. I remember my dad building the fence in our back yard to keep the new puppy safe. Those are the memories you children will hold dear. Chin up! You are stronger than you think!

  22. Jeanine says

    I really enjoy your blog and your authenticity! I realized awhile back that the reason I don’t really like facebook is because it reminds me of a Christmas letter in which everything is absolutely wonderful. That’s just not real life. My husband always sends out a letter at Christmas detailing the good, the bad, and the ugly, but in a funny way. We’ve had many people tell us that it’s the only letter that they receive, which they actually enjoy reading:).
    Anyway, keep up the good work! I pray that your husband will find a job soon, but meanwhile, I know your boys will remember much more about your good attitude and all the little things you do to make life enjoyable than they would a single vacation. Also, with three boys of my own, I think another commenter is right – vacations can be overrated! Maybe you can plan out a week long staycation with your husband and sons. Have a party on your husband’s last day of work, and tell your boys to watch how God turns this around (Romans 8:28) for your good! I just know that God has something great in store for your family!

  23. says

    Stacy, you found the secret to happiness – to be content with what you have, no matter how much or how little it is. It’s a scary thing for a spouse to lose his job, no doubt about that. The uncertainty about how long he’ll be unemployed is disconcerting to say the least, but you’ve been through it before, and you’ll make it through this time too.

    Your blog is not the typical blog I follow. The ones I read on a regular basis are heavy on gardening (big surprise, huh?), but I love your voice and how you share. I’m the same way – I no doubt overshare, but with both of us, what you see is what you get. We don’t know how to be any other way, do we? I feel like we’re kindred spirits in that way. Big hugs to you and prayers that your hubby will find another job very soon.

  24. Andrea D. says

    Hey Stacy…I just wanted you to know that you really made a difference in my life today. Your simple, but true message made me stop and think. I had just spent yesterday feeling a little jealous of my neighbors and their wonderful summer plans at their lake house. I truly never see a lake house in our future, and I was feeling a little down. Your message today reminded me of a saying that I saw about a year ago–”don’t compare your everyday film to someone else’s highlight reel”. I’m slowing figuring that out, and your message really brought it home for me today.

    My husband (who is now working) was unemployed for almost two years. It was a scarey time for all of us, but looking back on it now, it was a true blessing. The time that we spent together after the kids were in school was a joy. We were able to (at the risk of using an over-used word) “reconnect”. Yes, there was a lot of stress, but there was a lot of contentment, too. I was reminded of what my Mom used to say…things always work out in the end. I’m sure they will for you and your family.

  25. says

    I appreciated this post so much. I, too, have felt envious at times of other bloggers but you’re right! We all have brown, patchy spots. And I’m so sorry to hear about your husband’s job loss. That can be devastating. I wish you well, and hope you come out of this “rough patch” stronger and happier on the other side. My thoughts are with you.

  26. bushfoot says

    On my drive to work I pass a small united church. They have one of those sign boards out front and they put the most interesting and thought provoking comments on it.

    You post reminded me of one from last year… “If the grass is greener on the other side, fertilize your own” Kind of interesting in my opinion! Puts us firmly back in control ;) I think this is what you are getting at too!

    My husband left his job a 3+ of years ago and it was a couple of years before he found a new job.. it was struggle, but we made it! You will too, think positive, take the time to enjoy the time together – sitting in the shade reading, whatever floats your boat!

    Think positive, believe it will work out and it will! I believe.

  27. CC says

    Prayers and hugs to you, Stacy! I sometimes have to talk to myself about the other side greener idea by reminding myself: CC, God knows where you are and He wants you right here, right now for His reasons. I often tell myself that it is to maybe keep me safe from something, to help someone else, to see something I have been overlooking, etc. Please know that when I open my email I look for yours especially, so your site is the first one I go to; the one I look forward most! You always give me something to look forward to, As Kylee says I love your voice and how you share! Take deep slow breaths, smile and take care.

  28. says

    Thanks for writing this, Stacey! I go through similar thought processes… wondering how some bloggers keep everything together! I’ve written about this, too. I am seriously pinching pennies every month and sometimes my posts are scarce because I don’t have money to do anything! I have to realize that, that’s how most people live, though… and I write my blog for those people. Not for the HGTV designers, but for the “common people” like me. Those are the people who make up this community of bloggers who rally around us when we’re sad, when we’re tired, when we’re happy, etc. Especially after my trip to Guatemala last week, I have to keep my perspective that I really am blessed with what I have. And that there are people who have less than what I have and are HAPPIER than I am! Ouch. lol! Sorry I’m rambling now :) Again, thanks for being so transparent!

    -Bonnie @ Revolutionaries
    http://www.revolutionariesblog.com

  29. Tina says

    I have never commented before but just want you to know I am praying for you and your family. My husband went through a job loss about three years ago so I know how you feel. I remember the struggle of seeing others going on vacations when we could not and trying not to let it bother me. We did go through some tough times but now my husband has a job he loves and we can see everything worked out for the best. Thank you for the great post. Will be praying for an awesome job to come along very soon!

  30. says

    Ya know, this just makes me feel as if I am not the only under the rain cloud right now. After working hard to save a little money, just in case an emergency came up, one did. Well pump went out. Back to zero…minus zero actually.

    So, I am not alone, which does not make you feel any better, but it does make me feel as if my situation is not personal.

    Time for me to do what will benefit my family and community. Need to get my dehydrator going, along with the canning pot.

    The rain cloud will lift, and oh how happy we all will be!!!!

  31. Candice says

    That was so beautifully said. It is so easy to get caught in the trap of comparing without having all the facts to truly compare with.

    Grass is an amazing thing. The roots are so strong and resilient, they will bring the grass back to life after dry spells, hard times, and neglect.

    We just need to choose to be as resilient as grass roots. We can bring beauty and life back to something that was considered bleak or a lost cause.

  32. Callie says

    Thank you for your lovely post. The point about the grass being greener and perspective really hit home. I hope you will be able to keep your chin up and know that better times are ahead.
    I also wanted to share a vacation idea we did with our friends one summer. Our best friends and our family make up 5 families. We chose one week to spend together. Each family planned one event. We spent an afternoon canoeing down a local river, complete with a stop off to share snacks we had brought. One afternoon and evening we had a driving scavenger hunt followed by a BBQ. (My son was in my car and got to experience his Mom in a new way. Afterwards he said “Mom! I had no idea how competitive you are!) One day was golf. We basically enjoyed our local area like tourists would and had plenty of laughs with our pals. Anyway, you get the idea. We have such great memories of those times. You can do bonfires, play a movie outside on a sheet. Lots of great and inexpensive ideas if you pool your friends and your creativity (which you seem to have in spades!)
    Best wishes XXOO

  33. Angie G says

    Oh! I have lived those days before…the job losses for hubby dearest, the beautiful clothes on other’s kids, the dreams of vacations continually postponed… But keep your perspective! It is just a season and things are constantly changing. Don’t forget that there are still plenty of people out here in real life that envy you for the family you cherish that they cannot have, the spouse that jumps into projects head-long, the beautiful blog you have running so smoothly with so many happy followers…etc. My prayers are with you and your family.

  34. says

    Thank you so much for sharing! It is soo true that it is soo easy to look at others and others blogs and become envious at how perfect things look. It almost never is as perfect as it seems. I’m soo sorry that your husband lost his job. That really stinks…I know. My husband lost his job about 4 years ago and was unemployed for almost a year. It was so hard. No matter what, you guys will get through it. It will probably stink at time and be hard, but you will get through it.
    Thank you for your real and honest post. I really appreciate posts like these, which would be why I started writing one a month on my blog because I don’t ever want people to view my life and my blog as perfect.
    Take care,
    KC

  35. Cee says

    Hi Stacy,
    I haven’t been reading your blog for very long…but I was so impressed when I first found you. And it’s funny because I thought, “Wow has she got it together and is there nothing she can’t do?” Just a reminder to keep all thing in perspective and to be thankful for what we do have and what we can do. I appreciate your honesty and hope things turn around soon for your family!

  36. Melissa says

    Stacy, my heart is breaking for you! I feel the same way about vacations. My hubby is anti-travel and a huge tight wad. It kills me everyday to see people traveling all the time! I finally put my foot down and am going to Canada in a month. My hubby won’t go, and let’s just say life has been quite unpleasant since I planned it… And yes, I read your blog and instagram and I’m insanely jealous! My house is just blah compared to yours! You seem to actually care about how your house looks, and I just don’t, lol. And I always remember something you said when we had lunch. Shane had been laid off about 3 times and you said you had NEVER missed a house payment! That has always stuck with me! You are amazing, and I have a feeling life will be getting very good for you soon! PS- I woke up this morning thinking you should make your blog into webisodes. It could lead to bigger things :)

  37. says

    Just wanted to stop by and offer support! I’m so sorry about your hubbies job situation. Crossing my fingers he is freed up for something even better!! My husband and I had not been on vacation in 10 years when we went to Hawaii in January for our 20 year anniversary. It took a lot of saving to get there, and it could be another 10 before we get another one ;) lol. Yep, all depends on how much of the story you get when looking in from the outside. I’d also like to let you know.. I almost always have dirty dishes in my sink, and our family room, which you will never see on the blog and is the hub of our home, has three computer desks and it’s the main entry to our home so it’s filled with a shoe rack and other real life junk! I just figure, who wants to see that? I don’t even want to see it :)))

  38. says

    Stacy, I’m so sorry your husband lost his job. It is so hard to struggle financially when others seem to have so much. Since your kids are out of school now, have them help you plan a really fun summer in your back yard. Have camping or picnics in your living room. Let them build forts or tents using the living room furniture, or over their beds, using sheets. Fix food in a fun way. Use this time to create memories. I have found that the memories that cost the least are the most memorable. Let your kids help you think of fun things to do. Stay up all night watching movies, all crowded in one bed or on mattresses on the living room floor. Have a great fun summer with the kids. (And truthfully, the youngest one or two won’t remember Disneyland at this age, and there are lots of rides they can’t go on. So if you go in a couple of years, they’ll be old enough to go on most of the rides and remember it much better.)

  39. Tarah says

    I’ve followed you for a while now & this is my first time commenting. I loved your post for many reason, we too are struggling financially at the moment. My husband lost his job about three years ago, right after that we found out we were finally pregnant after trying for so long. We blew through our savings to stay afloat and I remember feeling so sad that I wasn’t able to go out and buy baby items that I had longed to do for so long because we just didn’t have the money.

    My husband had been unhappy at his job for a while, I had been telling him to look for another job and then he was let go. In those nine months, he searched and searched for work. I think he felt a ton of pressure because we were now adding another mouth to feed to our family. He landed in a company he has loved working for, he has a job he loves, he gets the recognition he never received at his old job, he has room to grow and move up. His attitude has done a complete 180. He comes home happy, he enjoys going to work, he enjoys taking on more responsibilities.

    I feel for you with your husband losing your job, we’ve been there. But I firmly believe it’s the kick in the pants we need to find a path that makes us happier, that will allow us to grow as a person. We’re still catching up on bills we had to pay with credit cards but I don’t regret him being let go, if he hadn’t, he may still be there, unhappy in his work, coming home in a bad mood and stressing about a company that didn’t care about him.

    I wish you all the best on this new journey, I have faith you’ll come out stronger than ever before.

  40. says

    So sorry about your husband’s job. That is terrible! I guess a little sunshine in all of that is your husband is home for at least a little bit for you to all spend time together. I have to remind myself constantly that I shouldn’t compare myself with others. Sometimes I have to take a little electronic break from Facebook, blogs, etc. so that I can focus on what I DO have! But, I love reading posts like yours that remind us that we all have our issues/struggles. We are all human and dealing with our own crap in our own ways! I saw a quote on Pinterest (of course) that I really loved. It said “You may think the grass is greener on the other side. But if you take the time to water your own grass it would be just as green.” I love that! I hope your husband can find another job soon. Your blog is definitely one of my favorites!

  41. Lisa says

    This is my first time commenting. I have followed you for a little while and have always found you to be genuine.

    I wanted to tell you that God sent me to your post today. I was struggling with a friend losing their job and then finding their “dream job” just 12 days later. She will continue to be able to work from home, got a higher salary and extra benefits from the job she lost. She also gets a cushy stay in a fabulous city (NY) for training. I’m happy she got a job, but was doing the whole pity thing. Wondering why I still have my crappy job that I’m unhappy at. Wondering why does she always get the breaks when she does so much “wrong” and I try to do right and get nothing. I felt horrible feeling this way, but couldn’t shake it, until I read your post. Thank you so much!!!!

    I am sorry that your husband lost his job and will pray for you and your family. I do believe that God is preparing your family for a huge blessing. Wish you all the best and keep us posted! Keep the faith!!!!!

  42. says

    Hello Stacy, I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, but never got around to posting (because I’m lazy like that :)) but I love your projects. In a way you inspired me to start my own blog and share my projects. Before I was too shy to do it. I think it is way too interesting that you posted this. Just a few days ago, you posted an instagram you reading on your secret garden, and the green-eyed monster showed its nasty face. I was thinking how lucky you were to get to stay home and do these amazing projects and how I was forced to go to work every day and neglect my garden and my reading :) I was envious that your kids get to have their mom every day when they get back from school and of how amazing that must feel. And then you went and posted this! It put so many things into perspective. I’m so sorry you are going through your husband losing his job AGAIN and that your kids won’t get to go to Disneyland this year. But none of that will really matter in the end. Everyone is struggling one way or another and we sometimes are too proud or private to share that with the world. I hope things work out and that your husband can find an even better job. I just keep telling myself that everything will be fine in the end. If it is not fine, it is not the end ;)

  43. Robbie says

    So sorry to hear about your husband’s job loss. My job will be ending in November of this year. I am thankful to my company for giving us alot of notice and also for our severance package. I am looking at this as an opportunity to spend more time with my daughter over the holidays and seek out new and different career path.

  44. Camille says

    Hi Stacy, I’ve never posted a comment on your blog, but I read it pretty often. For some reason, today it was extra important for me to read it. I’m so blessed, but I have been where you are – except as a single parent with two sons. Scared??? oh.my.gosh…was I EVER! I had been divorced a year, was finally able to sell my home and we moved to a town where my family lived – no job, no place to live, etc. I lived with my sister and was fortunate to purchase a home. I found a job right away, but lost that job about 6 weeks later – right after moving into the new home. I was TERRIFIED! I was blessed to find another job that offered me SO many opportunities and mentoring and even though we struggled for many years, my sons still talk about our staycations, mac & cheese dinners and so forth. They are now grown men. I’m rambling, but I’m here to tell you that the grass is NOT always greener and your roots are strong even though you may be brown around the edges right now, those roots will sustain you and your family. When one door closes, another one opens. It may take a while, but it will happen. I’m so sorry your husband lost his job. It’s such a devastating feeling. I know you will all come out stronger! {{{HUGS}}}

  45. says

    Sweetie, I totally understand what you are going through! I hit a wall earlier this week and wondered if I should quit my blog (long story). I was caught in comparing myself to others. But you’re right; everyone has their own story & struggles. I will be praying that your husband finds another job, quickly, that he loves more than the last. When my husband lost his job in 2008 we just kept praying that God would provide & he did…my husband is so much happier in the job he has now! Hugs!

  46. says

    Thanks for the sweet reminder to appreciate what you have. I just got back from my father’s funeral and I’m looking at all the bills and the messy house and unfinished projects and feeling sorry for myself. There are always good things in life with the bad and it’s easy to let the bad overwhelm and overshadow the good. You are strong. You’ve been down the out-of-work road before. Hopefully, there is something better just ahead.

    ps. I loved all the hikes and free nature activities that are in Utah. My family always spent cheap vacations in nature and enjoying all the beauty to be found there. It’s not Disneyland, but it’s still awesome.

  47. says

    My instagram photos never show the dirt. There seems to be a special filter for making dog hair invisible, lol!
    We are eating a lot of beans and potatoes because money is so tight right now. And we’re having struggles too. My 18 year old son had an anaphalyctic reaction to aspirin yesterday. I’m still a bit shaken over it but am so happy and thankful that he recognized the seriousness of his situation and was able to get medical help for himself right away. We need to change his diet to remove as much naturally occurring salicylic acid as possible. But it’s okay (no, it sucks for him) because it’s another challenge for my creative self. Because money is so tight, we’ll be doing staycation stuff again, enjoying the freebies in our area, all that really matters is that our family is together. Oh, and hand me downs totally ROCK! My entire house is “decorated” in hand me downs and thrifted items.
    I used to know a couple of women who did have it all, at least from the outside looking in. Their grass was GREEN. One of them attempted suicide. The other one succeeded. After seeing this happen, I know that perfection can hide horrible things. I’d rather just have my patchy grass.

  48. LJ says

    Stacy, you have just soothed my heart…I was looking at your adorable house post just a few days ago and thinking, “How would it be to have your life that together?” I’m relieved to learn that it’s not always like that.
    I am so sorry to hear about your husband’s job loss! We dealt with that last year and it was so stressful. I feel like it will take 5 years to recover from 5 months of unemployment, BUT – my husband is now in a job where he feels appreciated and enjoys what he does and I am SO grateful for that.
    Unemployment also taught me how many people love and care for our little family. Somehow, our needs were always met and we made it through. Being a person who doesn’t like admitting I need help, it was sometimes really hard to turn to others, but it taught me that my pride wasn’t nearly as valuable as I thought it was!
    There is still a lot about our life that I wish were different. Right now we live in a little apartment and I long for a yard where my kids could run wild without worrying about strangers or their dogs’ messes. My boys keep asking to go to Disneyland, too, and I hope it’s in our future…somewhere. But I try to remind myself that we’re doing okay and we’re really very blessed!
    I hope that your current stresses are VERY temporary. I think you’re doing great things, just by doing what you do. Thanks for your positive perspective.

  49. says

    This world is sadly so unstable and it makes it hard to feel secure when it comes to providing for our families. Everyone has a struggle of some sort or another and I hate to think that any blogger is or looks “fake” cause honestly, on my worst days, I smile through it too. Just like each and everyone else, why? Cause it carries us through the storm and it makes us shinn brighter in the gloom. I hate to hear your hub has lost his job but as everyone else has said, and mind you, everyone says this cause everyone has faith it will happen, you both will find your feet again, and until then enjoy the ride down the rabbit hole, squeeze tight to your babes and know, this too shall pass! <3

  50. says

    This world is sadly so unstable and it makes it hard to feel secure when it comes to providing for our families. Everyone has a struggle of some sort or another and I hate to think that any blogger is or looks “fake” cause honestly, on my worst days, I smile through it too. Just like each and everyone else, why? Cause it carries us through the storm and it makes us shine brighter in the gloom. I hate to hear your hub has lost his job but as everyone else has said, and mind you, everyone says this cause everyone has faith it will happen, you both will find your feet again, and until then enjoy the ride down the rabbit hole, squeeze tight to your babes and know, this too shall pass! <3

  51. says

    This was a wonderful post and I thank you for sharing it. I know my family blog is one of those that makes everything perfect when it is not – I’d love to share more on it about my frustrations with the things going on in our life but that would mean airing dirty laundry that is not only mine or my husbands, but friends and relatives, which I think is crossing a line. So sorry to hear about your husband losing his job. Just know he is meant to spend this time with your kids. As a full-time working mom I envy those that get to stay home with their kids, even for just the summer. I hope your husband finds work quickly. And you do get to take your kids to Disneyland, it will make the experience that much more special.

  52. starjumper says

    i just wanted to tell you that your post touched me. my life has felt like such a disaster for the last few years… we’ve been trying for 4 years to start a family and have been failing at it for 4 years, spending 10′s of 1000′s of dollars in the process. this spring i finally got pregnant only to subsequently lose the baby. but we’ve been on some pretty kick-ass vacations in the last 4 years, trying to do as much as we possibly can to take advantage of the fact that we have no children to haul around. we’re building our dream house right now… with no children to fill the bedrooms. i’m sure that on the surface it looks like we’ve got it all together, but underneath we’re suffering what’s easily the biggest tragedy of our life.

  53. says

    Thank you for being honest and raw and transparent! I am SO sorry for your husband’s job loss. :( So hard! But, hopefully another amazing door will open up soon. And, you have a whole bunch of support from your awesome readers and fellow bloggers! Hugs!

  54. says

    Not to sound crude, but a saying my father would always say to my siblings and I when we were envious of someone else, “The grass is only greener on the other side because it is being fertilized with bullsh*t.” That saying has stuck with me for a long time. You don’t see the whole story when you look at only one aspect of something. You might look at someone’s “clean” house and not know that they have a garage you cannot walk through. I have a friend whose house was always spotless, then she took me to her hoarding room to prove she didn’t have it all together. I don’t think anyone has it all together. I truly appreciate your honesty and I hope that your husband is able to find a great job and quickly. Please know that you are in my thoughts.

  55. says

    Stacy – hang in there! Your grass is real…sometimes your neighbour’s grass may look better, but it could be astro-turf – you know the fake grass that is put there to make their lives look better. In the blog world – it is easy to get jealous and wish your home looked like those you see, but like you said – they are staged for photos and GOD knows my house is not ever as tidy as when I am taking pictures. I like the fact that you share so much of yourself with your readers…and I am honoured to say I am one of them. Five years ago we went through the same thing when McG lost his job, and then three years ago I was diagnosed with leukemia…life shifted focus for awhile, but its back on track now – better than ever. A mantra I used during my journey was “This is only temporary” – take a deep breath, relax as best you can, re-group and know that things happen for a reason…and always remember, BETTER TIMES ARE JUST AROUND THE CORNER!

  56. Kelly Cockshaw says

    You touched my heart so much with your post, Stacy! I am so sorry for what you are going through. But thank you for sharing your beautiful perspective on things, even through the tough times. Being in this DIY/home niche is TOUGH – nothing but beautiful and perfect things to read about every day! But you are so right – much of it is staged and also does not give the big picture. We all have beautiful corners of our homes and our lives to share – we are all in this together!! xoxox

  57. says

    Wow! You’ve received a ton of comments on this! Just wanted to say that I appreciate your post. I know that sometimes I think that in order to be “successful” I have to have a lot of material things but then I realize that my family is the most important and we can create fun memories by just being together. I’m so sorry about your husband’s job. I know that everything happens for a reason and hope that he will find something soon. We are in a different situation with my husband being a contractor and I am having a baby and not going back to work so the steady income and insurance is going. But somehow we always make it. Keep us updated!

  58. Amy says

    I’m sorry to hear that your husband lost his job. I am sending HUGS and happy thoughts your way! I am a long time lurker and I rarely comment, but I wanted to tell you that you are such a huge inspiration to me! YOU are amazing and I’m so glad that I found your page long, long ago :) I hope that your husband finds another job soon and in the meantime, enjoy the extra time with him and your boys :) Hugs, really big hugs!!

  59. says

    Chin up, we are all flawed humans and you’re right…I’ve felt the same envy that you describe, and I am only a part time blogger with a day job. But then those same bloggers end up inspiring me in the end! Blogging has, in so many ways, raised my own game. This world is full of positive people, and keeping your eye on those that support you will help you through the highs and lows of life. keep watering your own grass and you will see. ;-) And thank you for keeping it real. I started blogging initially for completely different reasons (I was mourning my son’s Aspergers diagnosis) but found myself doing DIY and crafting as a creative outlet, and blogging helped me stay positive (and rescues me from my own negative thinking).

  60. says

    Stacy,
    So Sorry to hear you are facing a difficult time. I don’t know you but can tell through your posts that you are a strong lady with a supportive family and you WILL be okay! The unknown is just plain scary sometimes! It is easy to let that scary unknown overwhelm us and then it is tough to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off.

    I know what it feels like to face financial insecurity. I have been unemployed for a year now with benefits to run out in December, of all times. The job market in my town is nasty. I have had 2 interviews since last July and didn’t get the jobs.

    When I first got serious about blogging at the first of the year, I let myself feel like everyone who ‘might’ read what I wrote was probably laughing at me because my house is not the clean pretty house that they all seem to have. I was also very jealous that they had such perfection in their lives, while mine continued to be next to impossible. Then I let that go (with quite some effort) and resorted to day dreaming when I had free time, but meanwhile taking each and every situation for what it is. I enjoy a laugh with my dad or my brother and cherish the moments mom rambles on about a crochet project.

    Just know that you are not alone in facing an uncertain future and you will be stronger for the challenge.
    {virtual} Hugss to you and yours!

  61. Sarah K says

    A very heartfelt post. I am sorry that you and your family are under this dark cloud, I hope the sun shines brightly for you all very soon. Good things are ahead for you!

  62. laura says

    I sincerely loved this post. I can’t tell you the number of times that I have read blog posts and simply wondered how do they do it…and how am I failing so much. I think facebook and all of is great…sometimes…but people tend to show the best…not always the reality. So many people are in your same shoes…

  63. says

    And it’s posts like this that make you my favorite DIY blog!! You are more than a beautiful home, more than beautiful decorations, more than innovative ideas, more than DIY tips… you let us see glimpses of the real living breathing person behind it all. And while I would love to create a beautiful home for my family to grow in, I need to see that life can be messy (cuz it kind of is). Thank you Stacy!! You are a gift.
    Saying a prayer for you and your family.
    -Amanda

  64. says

    Yes – you are right – it is about perspective. My husband was killed a few years ago in front of me in a car accident. I was following him home. NOW – I do not share this for you or anyone to feel sorry for me. I don’t like pity parties…had enough of them…but sometimes I still have them. I remember reading something that said ‘it’s okay to swish your feet around in a pity party, but it’s not okay to bathe in it’. I loved that and have never forgotten it. I love the quote ‘Gratitude – turns what we have into enough’. I’m sure you have seen it many times. What I’d like to share is this – we don’t know what God has in mind for us. We don’t know why we have trials – if we could see the end first – then we might be more willing to go through them. :) And maybe some of them not so willing. I have grown so much and learned so much since my husband died….and it’s in ways that I never would have if it hadn’t happened. Oh I miss him – terribly…..at times more than others….and recently my daughter graduated from Pharmacy School and a granddaughter was baptized the same weekend..then my niece’s wedding was the night after the baptism. .I had to be at one place and then back to the others which were 7 hours one way apart…and had to do it in two days…..and I had no vehicle that would get me there and not enough money to take me there and back. Well – things worked out somehow…the trip was very long….but I was able to be at all of the events….which were all wonderful! But I missed my husband so much – because I knew if he were here….I wouldn’t have a transportation or money problem and it would have been much easier. I remember one day thinking that I worked two jobs, had a business and I still didn’t have enough to get done the things that needed done then…even though I was abundantly blessed! Well – the thought that came to me was this ‘stop murmuring like the Israelites’….(yes, that is religious…but very true and it stopped me in my tracks and taught me a great life lesson). I try hard not to murmur…but it was really hard not to think of the ‘what if’s this past weekend when I went to all of the events…. I had great friends who helped me get a rental car that was half the cost, I had a mother who helped with gas and food and I had support from a loving Father in Heaven. That is how I get through the tough times….and no one’s life is perfect…they only may look like it from the outside. I know many people who look like that – but have so many struggles. One day…when we can look back….we will be grateful for these hard times. IT’s so great if we can look at our lives as a school….and try to understand what the lesson is in all of it. Thank you for sharing….it’s refreshing to read the truth!!! I maybe shouldn’t have shared the religious point of view here – I don’t know what that etiquette in blogger land is – but it is the truth…I could never had made it without him these past several years since my husband past..and I know I won’t be able to make it without him in the future. Blessings galore await us if we but ask…and that’s what I did to help me get to where I needed to go. :) Hang in there…..your grass is just as green as everyone else’s..it just may be camouflaged right now. :) HUGS Thanks…have loved your posts and blog for a long time.

  65. Kim Fisk-kalia says

    It’s interesting that you posted these thoughts now. I found myself wondering how you are always able to get so many complicated projects done and at the sand time handle your kids. I have two sons, ages 3.5 and 6 months. I am a painter and I haven’t painted or drawn since my first was born. I can’t seem to get 10 minutes peace. I don’t know how you do it. I always wondered. You are inspiring to me and from here your grass looks pretty green to me. I wish you and your family the best.

  66. says

    Stacy, I’ve followed your blog looooong before I decided to jump into this jungle! I loved you from the start because you always kept it real!! Thank you for being you! The will of God will not lead you where the grace of God can not keep you! Big hugs coming your way!!!!!! ~~Angela

  67. Rylan says

    I just recently found your blog and just like going through all your pictures that you posted. I am now a committed devotee!! I can’t begin to tell you how much I not only appreciated this post but more importantly needed to read it right now!! I went through an awful divorce (I guess who’s divorce isn’t), was left with nothing but the precious gift of our son, who at the time wasn’t quite a year (is now 3 and 1/2) and hasn’t been back since. I’ve struggled everyday trying to get a financial life back for us and haven’t been very successful. I read a lot of blogs with a lot of envy. Truly wondering how everyone else’s life was so perfect and mine was such a disaster and the furthest thing from what feels normal. Thank you one million times over for writing this!!
    I’m so sorry your husband lost his job! I hope all the best for you and your family! You’re very blessed already by having a loving family!

  68. says

    I think many feel the same way you do. I know I do at times. I see all the pretty pics on food and party planning blogs of bloggers and think the exact same thoughts you’ve have…their life must be perfect. I blog from the heart and just about whatever is going on in my life. I don’t get too personal on my blog, but it’s not because I try to come off as perfect or anything. In general I’m a private person, and especially with my job I never know who can come across my blog. Nonetheless, I don’t think we are alone the least bit and that many feel just like we feel…and probably think we have perfect lives.

    Good luck to your husband with his jobs search and hope that he finds one soon.

    Tenns
    New Mama Diaries

  69. Lynne says

    I love that you are keeping it real for the rest of us. In any situation I think you can sigh over what are perceived as shortcomings, or smile over blessings. I live in a rental, no chance of ever being in a position to buy (unless Lottery comes along ;-) ) and am the sole income earner in our household. We haven’t been able to afford to go away for a vacation for about 10 years, but when I have leave we make that time at home special – meals, cheap rental video nights, treats etc. And I make a point of catching up on all those things that get put on the backburner when I am working full time and am too tired running a household in my spare time – catching up with friends, reading those books I’ve had sitting on the shelf for months, and so on.
    Money and time are in short supply, and sometimes it inevitably gets me down, but hey! I earn enough to keep the roof over our head and put good food on the table, and to get us little extras. Walks along the nearby beach or in the nearby wooded reserve are free, as is the local book library, and a lot of other things once I start looking.
    You get my drift. It’s okay to be a bit envious – as long as we don’t lose sight of what we have :-)
    I hope your husband finds something else soon. (I know how devastating being out of work can be too :-/ )
    But take a look at the number of supportive posts here – you have a LOT of people thankful for YOU !! :-)

  70. says

    You want green, can’t water, hubs wants to kill our grass, we’re in flood watches for rivers and streams. Really green here. I am so saddened by job lay offs still happening like this. Isn’t the economy supposed to be turning around? We’ve never been to Disney and my kids are adults. All families have different circumstances. Our high medical costs (and what caused them) has kept us quite limited in spending. Sonny’s autism made more than 3 nights away too much. (Very ritual related disorder) I’ve wondered about over-sharing on my blog (to my few readers) and it seems those posts are the most well-commented on. I’ve never felt that you over-share. You’re real. Your family’s real. You do good things with HD and Habitat. You’re Stacey. Not someone blown up selling their own stuff and half the blog world (hyperbole for sure) joining in. Just my .02.

  71. Geneva says

    My dear,

    We have never met and probably won’t have an occasion to but you must know this.

    I don’t comment often because usually I am just in awe. You are a beautiful person from what I see, inside and out. You are a great mom to your boys and your energy and creativity are inspiring.

    Now hear this also, you changed my outlook on life one day when I was very depressed and hurt over some family stuff. I happened to have brought back some mason jars from my oldest sons wedding and needed to do something with them. I did a quick google search and your jars hung on a board with fresh flowers was what I found. I then slowly over time ventured beyond just your great blog to others because of your link parties and it sparked a creativity in me I never knew I had.

    There aren’t enough hours in the day to do all the things I want to do now in life! I will never forget where it started, your blog, and how it turned things around and gave me a creative outlook and fresh perspective. We all touch people sometimes and never know it. Well I thought it was time after this post of yours.

    Keep your perspective on your own life, know that we are all I am sure sending you good luck and warm wishes for things to turn around and more importantly you keep your positive attitude. No one has it better than any one person. This has taken me a while to learn. Everyone has chinks in their armor. Some are just determined to hide it. Smile, love those boys and your sweet husband, stay positive and KNOW good things are around the corner as you do the best you can each day!!

    Geneva

  72. says

    Oh Stacy. Thanks for this wonderful post. I remember sitting next to you at dinner last year while at Haven and being in awe that you had four boys and seemed so together when I was struggling with just one little boy (and a girl, but she’s easy compared to my little rabble rouser). The grass definitely seems greener, and only through honest and open conversations like the one you’ve started can we get a closer look at people’s ‘patchy lawns’ so to speak. We’re in flux now with my husband’s job as well (waiting for the axe to fall is more like it) so I understand that fear. I hope you’re still going to Haven so I can give you a BIG squishy hug!

  73. says

    It’s true everyone is so different and are blessed with different talents. I wish I could build amazing original pieces or keep up a garden like you do. I wish I could be as outgoing and naturally friendly with tons of people like you do. I wish I could be bold with companies, balance blogging with real life and crank out work when it needs to be done late in to the night like you do. You are amazing and I am lucky to call you my friend. Seeing your talents inspires me to be better and push myself further. I will still kill every house plant I own and want to close my eyes when I use power tools, but at least I’m giving it a go. ;)

  74. Steph says

    I just stumbled upon your blog from ana-white.com. I just wanted to say “thank you” for writing such an honest and down-to-earth post. I often times find myself sad that all these people get to go to the big concerts, vacations (several times a year), new cars, new houses and all the big name sporting events and what-not. It’s wonderful to be reminded that I have a wonderful life. I have a fantastic relationship with an incredible husband, and the sweetest 2 year old girl. We quite enjoy staying home in our apartment and watching movies and eating popcorn and hanging out together, and it makes me hope for others that they are blessed with the time and relaxation to do those things too! We typically only see the good sides of people on social media, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for reminding me of that.

  75. says

    I’ve been thinking about this post ever since I read it last night. I think I might have even dreamed about it. Thank you so much for sharing. My big goal for this year is to not worry about being perfect. I read this right as I was starting to get caught up in worrying about perfection in part of my life. Your honesty saved me about a week of feeling bad for myself.

    I hope your husband finds a new job soon. I know how tough that whole process can be. And I really hope that you guys have at least 1 put together bathroom right now.

  76. says

    Thank you for sharing, Stacy. My husband’s job is being cut to part time in a couple of months. I can so relate to what you’re saying. {{hugs}}

  77. says

    I have a really hard time remembering how great my life is. I don’t like my job, my house needs hundreds of thousands of upgrades and renovations, okay, maybe tens of thousands!! My house is 45 years old and my car is 15 years old! I struggle trying to remember that I am lucky to have a job, house and car!! I struggle to be content. Watching friends buy new homes (but some can’t afford them anyways), another one just got a whole whack of new tech toys and it would just be nice to have something new! I often wonder about “how-to-get-content” when it seems like there is so much that I would like to do but don’t have the money for. What does it feel like to go and buy whatever you want?
    I hope that your husband finds something new soon. The little bit of my that is optimistic thinks that something wonderful and better must be on its way to you!!

  78. says

    I love this post – so honest and well-written. I have blogger envy quite often…so many bloggers have huge (obviously, very expensive) houses and looked like they were just styled for a magazine. I love my little house and feel so blessed to even have one, but sometimes envy rears its ugly head. And then there’s the vacation thing, like you mentioned. Our last vacation was almost 4 years ago and that was only because it was our 25th wedding anniversary and we saved to take that trip for 1-1/2 years! Me, my husband, and 22-year old son were going to actually take a trip to England this summer to visit our friends over there (again, we’ve been saving for about 2 years) but airfare is SO expensive there this time of year, that we just can’t do it. Especially since our 22-year old just finished his associates degree and is now going on to university, which costs tens of thousands per year. Maybe some people could afford both, but not us! Oh well, I’m not complaining at all about this stuff….just sympathizing with you on not being able to take vacations, etc. :-)

  79. says

    I rarely comment, but wanted to say that I’m sorry to hear about your husband losing his job again. I can’t imagine how hard that is on you guys. But I do want to add that I know you want to take the family on a vacation, but growing up we never took vacations and I think I appreciated and had more fun on the vacations that we did take than I would have if it was our normal thing to do each summer. There are a lot of staycation ideas out there now, so take advantage of your area and your kids will never know the difference! I know we all have these high expectations of what we want to be able to do with our kids or for them, but I think a lot of times those expectations are too high. I can’t say that is the case for you because I don’t know you, but do give yourself a break and don’t stress about not going on a vacation. Have you thought about just going camping with the family? That to me is always a fun time and not usually too crazy expensive…if you already have all of the gear that is. Good luck and I hope your husband finds a new job soon!

  80. Rachel says

    Oh my lands…I’m so sorry about your husbands job. That is just awful, and I’m sorry you have to keep going through that as a family! First thing I said (I’ve been following you for years) is: “you’ve GOT to be joking…”
    I’m hoping something good comes his way.

  81. says

    Stacy. Thank you! I feel this way all the time. A couple weeks ago I saw a passive conversation on FB between friends that turned out to be about me and how perfect my life was and how kind of upset they were over it. I wanted to shake them and say NO, my life is just as crazy as yours, I just happen to wrangle my mess and child long enough to take a pretty picture and post it online.
    I’ll be praying for your family and for your husband to find a new job.
    God Bless
    Sarah

  82. says

    Hi Stacy – My heart absolutely broke reading your post. There is nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said in the last 89 comments, but please know that my prayers are with you and your beautiful family. And BTW – my blog and my family and my house and my DIY projects…. so not perfect. Feel free to look check out my website and blog and see pictures of me bald on my wedding day just 10 days after cancer treatment ended. I guarantee you that all of these “perfect” families aren’t… so… perfect. They just put it out there as such. Hugs, Holly
    http://coconutheadsurvivalguide.com/blog/

  83. Natalie says

    Hey Stacy – I’m not sure if I have ever commented on your blog, but I love it! (I know I should, but I am kind of a shy commenter). We all have trials and struggles. There really never is any amount of time when life is perfect. My husband and I try to remind each other that our struggles will help us have empathy for others who struggle as well. It really builds character in our kids and ourselves. Don’t get discouraged and keep your chin up. :)

  84. Estefania says

    Stacy,

    I read your blog regularly but never comment.. Today, I felt the need to comment and let you know that you’re not alone in the way you feel! Although my husband and I are blessed enough to have work, we lost our infant son (our only child) in January and the same feeling you have about people’s vacations is what I have when I see happy families with babies and my pregnant friends. I know how hard it is to look at the lives of others and be envious because they look so great from the outside.. Deep down though, I know that everyone has their struggles and like you said, you can see the patches in their grass from up close! It’s easier to see the patches in our grass than the neighbors’. I will definitely be adding your family to my prayers and I hope things turn around for your family soon! I am sure God has big things in store for you! You have so much talent and I thank you for sharing the beautiful spaces you create and what it takes to get them- good, bad, and/or ugly.

  85. says

    Aawww and I’d hug the crap out of you right back! Thank you for this very honest post Stacey! This is why I love your blog, you are so real and raw and sometimes life isn’t rosy and you always remind us that you are in fact human! So sorry for your husband’s job loss, I am praying for a new and better job for him very soon. Hang in there. XO

  86. says

    You DO have such a great community of friends! As the wife of a self employed painter I have known mostly famine through many, many years. It has only been through an inheritance that we are on solid financial ground. I have chosen to stay home and homeschool the kids for years when I had no idea how we would ever get out of debt. I don’t know why God chose t bless us this way but He did. Yet nothing has changed about the way I look at money. I love yard sales and thrift stores and hand me downs! I love making something from nothing and knowing God loves my creativity. But I know over 20 years of want and I believe God has given us a time of plenty as a way for Him to be glorified. Keep sharing your stories, both the “perfect” and “imperfect!”

  87. Windy Wilson says

    My friend calls that comparing your worst day with somebody else’s best day, which is a bad thing to do.
    Good luck and persevere!

  88. says

    Stacy~ Thank you for letting us into your real life. You are right, we too have real lives and real problems and hurts and joys and blessings. I so much love listening to your stories. It gives me a respite from my trials and a fresh perspective. I will join the rest of us followers in praying that God delivers you and upholds your family and gives each of you a peace that passes understanding. I so wish like you that I could give you a great big hug and then ask your DH if he would like to learn to short order cook for the summer.

  89. says

    Wow this post touches my heart. Not because I’m being envious of others vacation photos on Facebook (although there are many this time of year) But bless you for #1) laying it out there like this. The true ‘keeping it real’. I love it. #2) realizing that you have abundant blessings in your life despite hardships. Every family has hardships but as you found out with the neighbors yard, they’re not necessarily apparent unless you’re close up. (hugs)

    ~Taylor-Made Ranch~
    Wolfe City, Texas

  90. says

    I’m in Texas and we’re in a drought too, but for once our grass is so green it needs mowing about every three days…no lie! I hear what you are saying, though. Life is full of sucker-punches and we either stay down or come up swinging. My grandmother had two saying that go hand in hand: Keep the faith and This too shall pass.

    Come up swinging, and in the meantime I’ll be praying for you and your family.

  91. says

    Oh Stacy . . . my grass is so patchy, with dry brown spots, holes dug by the dogs, dandelions sprouting up out of nowhere. And I’m not just talking about my real grass but my real LIFE. We all have our highs and lows in life. I remember an extremely difficult time we went through where I walked through the mall looking at all of the faces around me and wondering, does anyone here hurt as much as I do right now? Believe it or not, I can look back on that time now and know why I had to go through it and even be thankful for the fruit that came from it.

    I so value your authenticity Stacy. Thank you. I’ll be praying that what looks like a bad thing in your life will turn into something wonderful for you and your family.

    Blessings to you all,
    Patti@OldThingsNew

  92. says

    I love your perspective. I also feel like I tend to look at the “other side” more often than I should. I need to learn to be more content with the happiness in my life and not keep striving for way more than is in our reach.

    I am thinking of you, I am sorry to hear about your husband :(

  93. says

    I’m so sorry to hear about your husband’s job. I’m praying that he gets something bigger and better than you could ever imagine! And thank you for being so real, honest and vulnerable. I know that the saying is true – comparison is the thief of all joy. SO true. I just posted about contentment today. Because without contentment, I’m so so miserable.

  94. Fawn B. says

    There seems to be a lot of that going around lately. My husband lost his job in October and now he is a stay-at-home dad. My dad just lost his job 2 Fridays ago and he is the sole provider for himself and my mom. Thank you for the encouragement, the honesty, and the reminder to not compare. It is so easy to do that in this cyber world. I agree, too, that hugs are needed should people ever meet up in person! Bless you and your family, and your path as you re-evaluate expenses, drop certain things for a season, etc. We have done it recently and I know it’s hard. So thankful I still have a job so there is a breadwinner for our family.

  95. says

    thanks for being so honest and open Stacy. so sorry to hear your husband is out of work. Try to enjoy your summer anyway! Think of all the fun things you could do as a family on a stay-cation. Look up free things to do in your area, camp out in your yard or even on the family room floor, Make your own putt putt course, you name it! :)

    Just a thought but if you guys will be really tight financially I’ve seen people who have donate buttons on their blogs. If you put one up while your husband is out of work people could help support you all during that time.

  96. Amy M. says

    Hi Stacy! I’ve visited your blog many times and have truly admired how darling your house is. You have made it a REAL home. Over the winter, our family went through some very difficult times. We had a lot of medical and financial issues. I kept on wondering when our problems would go away. My husband stayed strong and stated, “After all of this, only God’s good can come.” No, not all of our problems disappeared, but I’m learning to trust in my Father more and more. May HIS peace pass all understanding!

  97. says

    Hi Stacy,
    You are so right, when You say “the grass is greener on the other side” is just how you are looking at it! I love Your honestly – it is not guaranteed nowadays. I hope Your husband is able to find a new job soon, even though I guess it is not so easy over there either. Just believe You are having all strength to manage it!

  98. Heather D says

    Just catching up on your blog and saw this. Sorry to hear about it! Praying for you. We have been there…. FOUR times! Three for my hubby, once for me. Things are just out of your control sometimes. BUT, God is always there and always has a plan in the works for you, down the road, that you just can’t see yet. It’ll work out somehow. =)

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