Blogging for the past two years has been a roller coaster with lots of ups and downs. I have had so many experiences, met amazing people, and grown because I have stepped outside of my comfort zone repeatedly.
This blog has helped me so much and made me feel more confident. But at times blogging can make me feel like I am in Jr. High all over again.
First before we dive in too deep, I want to thank you. All of you who take the time to read my posts, comment, email, and interact on Facebook and other places. It brightens my day! I have gotten to know some of you better than others but I appreciate all of you. On those days when I don’t feel like getting anything done I will hop online and look through links from the linky party and see all the amazing things you have created. It gives me the motivation to get off my rear end and DO something. On the days when personal trials seem too much I get an email of encouragement from one of you. I wish I could put into words how much this blog has helped me personally. How much I needed it and didn’t even know it.
I have been in a funk for awhile and I have been trying to pin point the reason.I think it is a myriad of tiny things really. Facebook is one of them. I was what felt like the last blogger on earth to get on the Facebook bandwagon. I didn’t understand why I needed a page for my blog. But the minute I finally caved in a started one I knew why. INTERACTION WITH YOU :) It was awesome! I could post anything (a question, a funny story, a thought, a beautiful room I saw) and you guys would crack me up and make me smile with all your responses. It was like having a chat room with all my like minded friends. And then they changed how facebook pages work. And then they changed it again. And again. And now most of you do not even see my page (and other pages) in your feed. It frustrates me because I miss the days of total interaction.
I have decided that I am going to be more active on other social media sites that still allow all your friends to see your feed. I will still post on Facebook as well. I just can’t ONLY do Facebook like I have been doing.
Another thing that I think started me down this introspective blog funk is a situation where bloggers were checking other blogs and seeing if they had Google Analytics installed more than once. I guess you can right click on a blog and click something else and then somehow see if it is in the code or something…. Techy stuff is not my forte. If you click on mine it shows up once for my blog and once for Cloudflare which my computer guy installed in WordPress. Hold on, let me google “cloudflare” because I can’t remember what it does……………………..
CloudFlare protects and accelerates any website online. Once your website is a part of the CloudFlare community, its web traffic is routed through our intelligent global network. We automatically optimize the delivery of your web pages so your visitors get the fastest page load times and best performance. We also block threats and limit abusive bots and crawlers from wasting your bandwidth and server resources. The result: CloudFlare-powered websites see a significant improvement in performance and a decrease in spam and other attacks.
Anywho, GA is loaded on my blog and and because of this Cloudflare thing it shows up under that as well BUT my computer guy assures me it is only installed ONCE.
Why am I telling you this? Because someone (P.S. I do NOT know who) emailed a blog friend of mine saying I had it installed more than once and that they thought I was doing that to increase my stats.
It broke my heart. I cried. First of all, I don’t use Google Analytics for my stats. I have a WordPress plugin for stats that is suppose to be more accurate. I signed up with Google Analytics back when I was on blogger before I switched to WordPress but have not even looked at them in a long, long time. And second, I am not tech savvy. Even if I had wanted to add it twice I would not have know how. My sweet, patient computer guy helps me with most coding issues. And I am pretty sure he could care less about my stats.
This has bothered me for a while now. First of all because it would never even cross my mind to check other people’s blogs or worry about other people’s blogs. I have been told by those close to me that I tend to go around with my rose colored glasses on. I know they meant it as a negative thing but I LIKE going around assuming everyone is doing and thinking good things. I like assuming the best of others. But like I posted about a long time ago Blogging has a dark side.
I took a lot of time off in December to reflect on blogging in general, my blog, and where I am at personally. A lot of prayer and pondering. I can’t say that I am uber confident that the funk is over and I am ready at full force to attack 2013. But I do feel a little refreshed and a little excited at the prospect of a new beginning.
I will tell you what I wish. I wish I could just create projects and blog about them. I wish I didn’t have to worry about advertisers, promoting, and all the other stuff. I did not realize that the minute I decided to take this blog from a hobby to a business/hobby that it was going to change the game so much. I sincerely believe that the reason my blog grew in the beginning is because Heavenly Father knew my little family was going to struggle financially. With 3 layoffs in the past two years and with four little mouths to feed and clothe, the small amount of money I can generate here has kept our heads above water. So I know that sponsored posts are not your favorite posts. I know you would rather see big room reveals and awesome furniture projects. But the sponsored posts put food on the table and allow me the funds (and products) to do the room makeovers and other projects.
My blogging friends are all making BIG goals and have big dreams for their blogs. And here is the really honest confession. The one I have not even admitted to myself until recently. I am scared. I don’t dare dream big. I am afraid of success because if I get big, there will be more experiences like the one I mentioned above. People being critical. And I don’t think I want to take off my rose colored glasses. I don’t think I have thick enough skin to handle it. I want to live in this supportive bubble we have created here and not venture into the big bad world.
So basically, I am a wuss.
So be patient with me and I may fumble while getting my footings here in 2013. I love you all and I love the blogging community :)
***UPDATE*** After reading your wonderful comments I think I gave the wrong impression with this post. I didn’t mean for the whole focus of the post to be about that one experience. Like I said, there are a ton of little things that had me in a funk. Also, I am not giving up on blogging. I am just not sure how far to take it or how big to dream because I hate the idea of having critics. Hence the “wuss” comment :) I am still going to plug along doing what I have been doing. I just wanted you to know why it may not be 5 posts every week like usual for the next little while. Or maybe it will be with all the tutorials and stuff from my family room. Who knows :) Thanks for your support!