Who said motherhood isn’t glamorous???

Somewhere between taking apart the vacuum to clean it, plucking some grey hairs, breaking up fights, and scrubbing poop out of the carpet, I realized that motherhood isn’t very glamorous. I mean, not that I didn’t already know that, but sometimes it just hits you how true it is. If we one day decided to quit, but we were nice enough to hire our replacement, can you imagine the list of requirements? Imagine the ad. . .

Must be able to keep 4 boys happy, keep them entertained, and keep them from killing each other.
Must feed them 49 times a day. Nutritious things.
Must be able to clean poop out of the carpet with one hand while trying to keep baby from crawling through it with other hand.
Must be able to do homework with at least 2 children simultaneously and not confuse the two.
Must be able to make children’s eyes roll in utter disgust and embarrassment.
 Must be okay with the sight of blood.
Must be able to yell loud enough to get the attention of 4 rambunctious boys but not loud enough for the neighbors to hear.
Must have eyes in the back of head OR be able to convince them that you do.
Must fix clogged toilets
Must use your own shirt to wipe snot
Must be okay drinking floaties in your water
Must have a magic bag filled with everything you could possible need at any given moment in any given situation
Must be willing to make a fool of yourself in the grocery store dancing and singing to keep a fussy baby happy
Must be willing to march outside and “give a talkin’ to” any one who dares to be mean to one of the children
Must be able to look good in a sweat suit or old tee shirt ( I mean really rock it!)
Must be able to whip up dinner in 10 minutes or less after realizing you just spent waaay to long at the computer
Must come up with words of wisdom, on the spot
Must need to deal with the fact that inevitably someone will fart at the dinner table followed by laughter and milk out the nose
Must know how to use magic eraser
Must have the patience of Job
Must remember to check pants pockets before washing so you don’t kill the “pet” worms stashed there
Must be really good at giving “the look”

Okay, at some point I have to stop. But I could easily go on. The point is, it is a tough, endless, job. BUT the rewards are AWESOME :) I could make a big giant list of those too but I want to just post this and go to bed. Truth is, I would never want to quit. Even on the worst days, there is always that moment when something is said or realized, and it makes it all worth it. I really do love being a mom :) I kinda like knowing no one could replace me!

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  1. Tammy @ The Sweet Spot says

    You are soooo right! I have 4 daughters and had a very similar "moment of realization" a week ago while trying to sign a permission slip for a field trip, un-stick the garbage disposal and clean poop off of MY pants-the baby's poop, not mine…Things definately get down and dirty sometimes, but I wouldnt have it any other way either…good to know Im not alone!

  2. Sarah@AlpinePoppy says

    Love this post, thanks! Especially the plucking grey hairs part, I am only 33, no one warned me that they would begin to appear so early!

  3. Hi, I'm Suz!! says

    Well said! I remember right after I gave birth the first time, my first *moment* of realization was that suddently everything that my mom and dad told me and I didn't believe was crystal clear. Motherhood is NOT glamorous but I wouldn't trade any of it. I remember well all the snot covered shirts, unknown muddy handprints on my hind end, the nightly "Mom, he pooped in the tub – AGAIN!", cleaning puke off the hallway wall, all the Christmas and Mothers day gifts created with pudgy fingers, or the 'flower' bouquets of dandylions! This year I was blessed with a wonderful reward for all of that – my first grandchild!! My son gave me a picture of me holding my grandson – with the caption: "A wonderful mother with lots of practice – Grandmother".

    It's all sooo worth it!

    Hugs ~~ Suz

  4. Lois@frugaldecormom says

    Laughing hysterically after reading this! So true. I've only got two boys and what a mess they are but they are so much fun! Thanks for sharing!

  5. I'm Not a Trophy Wife says

    new follower.. loved the title of your blog so had to join in.. would you stop by my blog and follow along if you like.. thanks.. have a great week. laura

  6. Melissa says

    Thank-you so much for writing this….it expresses everything so wonderfully! I am a stay at home mom with 6 kids ( 5 boys and 1 girl ) that I also homeschool. So there is no breaks in our day which is wonderful and a mixed bag too :) No one on earth can replace what a mom does each day…. and it is soooo worth it! Even when I have 3 kids dog piled in bed with me at night after a long day in the trenches :) Once I stare at them sleeping so peacefully I fall in love all over again and like magic forget everything that came before that moment. Then the yelling starts in the morning:) Just Laugh.
    Thank-you! I can not be replaced! How enpowering that feels!

  7. Alanna says

    I just found your blog looking for ideas for my sons robot party. You’re amazing! But I was thrilled when I found this post and found out that you are a mother of four boys… just like me! I related to everything on that list… except I think I’ve been spared pet worm in pockets so far. Thanks for the laugh. I’m sure I’ll be visiting again.

  8. Tangi says

    I have had several pregnant friends tell me all of these horror stories that people have told them regarding labor, birth, and motherhood. I can tell by the look in her eyes that they want me to tell them that none of it is true and that all of the stories are exaggerated. In an effort to be completely and gently honest with them, I have begun telling them all the same thing… “Being a mom is the most horrifying, mind-bending, heart breaking, gut wrenching, worrisome, wallet emptying, head pounding, questionable, disgusting, body bashing, self doubting, awesome, rewarding, never-knew-you-could-love-so-much-never-knew-you-could-be-loved-so-much, amazing, inspiring, sanctioned-by-God, you-can’t-imagine-doing-anything-else, adventurous, educational, wonderful position IN THE WORLD and you wouldn’t take anything for it. And THAT is the TRUTH!

  9. says

    I just discovered your blog a few days ago, and have spent MUCH time on it!! Love your creativity and your personality – I feel like we should be friends! :) LOVE this post, as I have just given birth to my 3rd child, and by the end of the day, I’m amazed I’ve made it through another day – maybe a bit bruised, scraped, stinky, and oh whoops, look at that… I went into town and didn’t even realize I didn’t do my makeup or hair! Yikes.
    I also love what the last comment, Tangi, had to say – perfectly put!